Red Hawk Essentials #18

Staying Present, Outdated Way of Relationships, Merab vs. Petr, And More!

Mar 09, 2023

I think the ability to stay present is one the most important tools a person could have, especially if you’re competing. But even if you’re not competing, it’s an important skill for life.

Eckhart Tolle says suffering is caused in the past and future. So if you can sit there in silence without being anxious about the future or depressed about the past, you can start to enjoy all the things that are going right in your life.

I also think a lot of creativity also comes from the present. If you have an empty mind, you’re opening the door to creative energy.

So how do you learn how to do this?

Learn how to meditate. I suggest downloading a meditation app like Waking Up, Headspace, or Calm. This will get you used to following your breath.

But there’s also one thing you have to keep in mind.

You’re not going to see benefits right off the bat. It might take months. But that doesn’t mean you’re not getting benefits along the way.

You might find it easier to focus, notice your breath more, or appreciate things a little more. These are things that you might not notice until you become aware of them.

But I can’t stress enough that you have to practice this over, and over, and over, again. Throughout the day, start to follow your breath. This is a daily practice for me.

If you find yourself stressed and overwhelmed, get yourself grounded.

Start following your breath.
Feel your feet on the ground.
Feel gravity pulling you down.
Notice what you’re seeing, hearing, smelling.

This will get you out of your head quick.

I really do believe that meditation will improve everything in your life. It’s going to improve your creativity, relationships, and communication.

It’s going to make you less reactive and impulsive so you can slow things down.

You might even start noticing your previous conditioning. The condition that might’ve been passed onto you by your parents, society, or your friends.

This is when you really become an observer of your life. You can take a step back and look at everything from the outside.

Being present is such a powerful tool and I have no idea why it’s not taught or talked about in schools. But I guess most important things in life aren’t taught in school.

If you want to get started on this journey, Stillness Is Key by Ryan Holiday is a nice easy read. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle is also a well-known one.

I personally use the Waking Up app by Sam Harris. He’s got a ton of different lessons for beginners and explains to you what to expect when you’re meditating.

The Outdated Way of Relationships (Pt. 1)

The American Psychological Association says 40-50% of first marriages end in divorce. And the rate for second marriages is even higher, with 60-67% of second marriages ending in divorce.

My relationship with Mariah has lasted longer than a lot of marriages. On top of that, we’re happy.

I personally think the whole monogamy thing is an outdated way of living. For some people it might work, but for most, it probably doesn’t.

For most relationships and marriages I’ve seen explode, it comes from the guy hiding things or not getting caught yet.

So years ago, when Mariah and I were dating for about 6 years, I brought up the idea of an open relationship.

I was honest. I said I know I’m not a bad person, but I do look at other women and I think other women are sexy. This had nothing to do with Mariah and our relationship. Everything with us is great.

But Mariah’s my best friend. She’s the person I choose to be around every single night. And I don’t want to have to hide things, sneak around, or act in a fake way.

So I wanted to be open and honest and really explain to her how guys’ minds work. Because I don’t think a lot of girls really know how our brains are wired.

It’s really important to learn how to communicate and be able to see things through your partner’s eyes. I dropped a 30 min video about this on my Patreon. Me and Mariah talk all about this and the other things we learned.

And that’s a good segue into another thing that’s important.

You and your partner have to both actively learn about relationships together. There’s an art and science to it. Mariah and I learned a lot from Ester Perel and other podcasts about relationships.

Fortunately, Mariah was really open-minded about everything and now we’ve been together for 13 years. We both have similar goals like building a big academy and spreading knowledge about this stuff.

I think girls watch and read all these fictional love stories and movies growing up and it gives them a false expectation. A false reality from what really happens.

And this expectation is probably what causes the guy to sneak around instead of just being open and honest with their girlfriend.

Now I’m not saying an open relationship is for everyone.

But there’s also not any laws or rules for how you should go about your relationship. I think you and your partner can make those up for yourselves.

Just talk about it and come to an agreement for what works for both of you. That’s better than praying your girl will never unlock your phone and find out what you’re doing.

I love talking about this stuff and I can talk all day about it. I’ll continue Pt. 2 next week for you guys.

Thorne Supplements

If you’re not healthy and you’re feeling like shit all the time, it’s hard to stay present. So if you’re looking for a good supplement to help you out there, a ton of UFC fighters use Thorne.

I also use Thorne as part of my daily supplementation.

It’s third-party tested for the best quality ingredients so you know exactly what you’re putting into your body.

I personally use magnesium before sleep, fish oils, amino-acids when I’m training hard, and their VeganPro complex protein.

If you’re in the market for some good supplements, Thorne is the brand I trust. You can feel safe and good about what you’re putting into your body with Thorne.

Use the link below and Throne will hook you up with a 15% discount on your order.

»» Click here to get 15% off of your Thorne Supplements order

Merab vs. Petr

UFC Las Vegas Fight Breakdown: Petr Yan vs. Merab Dvalishvili - MMAOddsBreaker

I can’t wait for this fight! Suga and I might go watch it live.

I think this fight is gonna be a lot tougher for Merab than most people think. Petr Yan is used to training for 5 rounds and he’s one of the best fighters in the clinch. And that’s how Merab likes to fight too. He likes to score in close and do upper body takedowns, and takedowns from the clinch.

Petr usually starts off slow too. So I think Merab can probably take the first 2 rounds. But in the 3rd, 4th, and 5th round - I think this is where Petr is gonna start turning it on and picking Merab apart.

Petr’s reaction time is so good. So if Merab takes a shitty shot, I think Petr could knock him out. But if I had to pick, I think Petr Yan takes this by decision.

Merab should have a lot of confidence going into this fight though. He’s on an 8 fight win streak while Petr Yan is on a 2 fight losing streak (to Aljo and Suga). So Petr’s confidence probably won’t be as high as it was when he was champ.

This might translate into Petr trying to be play it safe and not take much risk. And this might hinder him. But again, it’s Petr Yan we’re talking about. He’s a terminator mentally and I think he’ll get the job done.

Book Recommendation: The Ethical Slut

Piggybacking off earlier about open relationships, here’s some reading material for the boys and girls if you want to learn more.

This book really opened my eyes about the different agreements and ways to live. The classic way of getting married and staying with one partner your entire life isn’t some set in stone rule.

Again, not for everyone. But if you’re open-minded and have interest in exploring, highly recommend this book.

Quick Hits From This Week

2 good thoughts from James Clear this week:

When you need to learn quickly, learn from others.
When you need to learn deeply, learn from experience.”

You can access experts with a click of a button on Google or YouTube. There’s no reason not to learn from anyone else about something, especially if you’re just starting.

But it’s also true that when you get deeper into a subject, that’s where different perspectives and opinions start to branch off. Experience will be your best teacher there.

“If two people have the same goal, you know nothing about the similarity of their results. But if two people have the same daily habits, you can infer quite a bit about the similarity of their results. Your results are largely a byproduct of your habits.”

2 guys walk into a gym, both saying they want to be world champ. One actually becomes a world champ and the other one can’t even get to the big show. See it all the time and it’s easy to tell why. Stay consistent and discipline with those good habits.

Red Hawk Recap. Ep. 79

On this week’s pod, we were joined by everyone’s favorite banker, Brenden.

Good things happen to good people

I think a good person is someone who treats everyone the same. And if you’re doing good things, I believe it is an energy thing to attract more good stuff into your life. Whether that’s good people, events, or opportunity. Unfortunately, it’s not always the case. There are pieces of shit out there who have found a lot of success. But if those guys know they’re doing bad shit, they’re always on edge because they think bad shit will happen to them.

Benefits from jiu-jitsu

Brenden’s been at jiu-jitsu for a year and he’s gotten some good benefits in his life. One thing is gaining confidence in his life and he loves the comradery in the gym. He wants to work on getting comfortable with being uncomfortable and I suggest that he come 3 times a week instead of 2.

New business ideas

I want to to grow the most gourmet weed possible. No added shit or pesticides. But then I’ve always thought about having my own coffee shop. These are ideas that I really want to do, but I also want to make sure I can actually commit to it and not half ass it.

TimboSugarShow Ep. 228

Jon Jones

Jon made Ciryl look weak, that’s insane. I think Jon would do the same thing to Francis and there’s no heavyweight out there for Jon.

Rick Rubin on success

When it comes to success for creators, most people gauge it on feedback. Number of likes, comments, shares. But most of the time, that leads to a lot of disappointment. Rick has another way of looking at success. If you’re able to create something you’re proud of, that’s a success. People are too quick to compare themselves to the people at the top.

Suga’s new concussion book

If you’re an athlete, you need to grab this book. It’s called The Brain Synergy Protocol and it’s written by Sean and his nutritionist, Dan Garner. A concussion doesn’t just come from getting knocked out. If you even get hit in the head and have a headache after, that’s a form of a concussion. In the book you’ll learn about a 30-Day protocol that will elevate and protect your brain function and improve cognition at any stage in your athletic career.

»»» Click here to grab Sug’s new concussion book on Kindle